5 Clever Ways To Deal With The Jerk Trying To Ruin Your Relationship
Lashing out isn’t going to solve your problem.
As humans, we are very territorial with our belongings, our food, our family and — most of all — our relationships.
When someone tries to come in between the magic that is you and your significant other, the claws naturally come out. Unfortunately, you have to accept that this is going to happen more than once in your lifetime.
Public humiliation probably isn’t great relationship advice when trying to resolve the issue of a third party, but there are other ways to better the situation. Rather than lashing out and being malicious, even if it’s in a sarcastic manner, here’s what you can do when someone comes between your relationship.
1. Evaluate yourself.
One of the biggest mistakes you can make when resolving an issue with your partner is neglecting to realize what you contributed to the problem. You have to ask yourself whether you’re giving enough effort, whether you’re 100 percent committed to him or her, and whether you’re getting angry too often for no reason.
You wouldn’t half-heartedly complete a school project or an athletic competition, so why would you slack off with someone you truly care about?
Most of the time, if someone comes in between your relationship, it’s because one party isn’t giving enough love, attention, affection. So check yourself before you allow an outside force to ruin something great.
2. Confront the culprit head-on.
People say they hate confrontation so much, but it’s the most effective way to deal with important situations like this. Rather than redirecting the attention and drama to your friends, family and significant other, simply deal with the culprit yourself. Ask why he or she is trying to meddle in your relationship.
The worst that can happen is he or she will lie straight to your face, but you will probably detect it. Handling things with this individual face-to-face shows your partner that you’re really fighting for your relationship and that you’re courageous.
Mature confrontation will always help solve at least part of the puzzle. The truth will set you free, ladies and gents.
3. Use communication as a sidekick.
Another huge mistake you can make when dealing with someone intruding on your relationship is to ignore him or her (or stay silent). No one likes a person who can’t stand up for what they believe in.
If you have a bad feeling about someone or something, talk to your partner about it. Communicate with him or her.
Issues between couples are not solved by giving each other the silent treatment or avoiding the elephant in the room. Discuss what’s happening, remain calm and hear each other out. You can even speak to your significant others’ friends or family to see if anything external is going on. Use all the resources and outlets that communication provides.
4. Recognize the real issue.
When someone tries to swoop in on your relationship, there are probably a number of things that are to blame — even more of a reason not to assume that anyone in particular is at fault.
Maybe your partner has moved on but doesn’t know how to break up with you. Maybe his or her ex is back in the picture and it’s causing second thoughts. Maybe you’re the one with a change of heart, or you found someone new.
Don’t automatically blame the guy or girl who comes in between your relationship because of something that you or your significant other did that might have caused it to happen. If you want to make progress, openly discuss and analyze what the issue at hand is.
5. Move on.
When all of your options have failed and you’ve fully utilized all of your resources, it’s time to pick yourself back up and move along. Whether it’s leaving your current relationship or moving on with your partner from the issue you’ve dealt with, you can’t forget that life stops for no one.
Hayley Matthews oversees content strategy, social media engagement and media opportunities for every aspect of DatingAdvice.com. Follow her on Twitter.