7 Marriage Secrets From Prostitutes
Sex workers, apparently, love talking about their married clients.
There’s an old saying: “If you treated your wife like you treated your hooker, you’d have the world’s strongest marriage.” Not familiar with that chestnut? Well, then you probably haven’t talked to enough prostitutes. Yes, they say things like that. And they’re not kidding.
Sex workers love talking about their married clients. They’ve got tales that’ll make you cringe, involving some pretty out-there sexual requests. (It would seem that if more married women consented to put their fingers up their husbands’ buttholes, prostitution might cease to exist.) But many of their stories are shockingly, well.. sweet.
The way they talk about their relationships with their Johns—who’ve been repeat customers almost as long as they’ve worn wedding bands—it almost sounds like a marriage. A happy marriage, no less. Brianna, a sex worker based n New York City, estimates that 90 percent of her clients are “married or in long term monogamous relationships.” And while they certainly visit her for the chance to be with a naked woman who isn’t their wife, she also says that her job is “95 percent emotional labor and just 5 percent sex.”
And the emotional labor is a two-way street. Some married guys try harder to please their prostitutes than they do the women they ostensibly promised to spend the rest of their lives with. We spoke to a dozen high-end escorts—the self-employed women who make more per hour than most cardiologists—and asked them to share their relationship secrets.
What do their married clients do right, and when do they screw up? How do men woo them, negotiate with them (emotionally and otherwise), and behave in ways that would probably translate nicely if they started using these same strategies with the women they’re cheating on, who aren’t offering their companionship in exchange for an envelope filled of cash left discretely on the nightstand?
Lesson 1: Ask For What You Want Like It’s a Business Transaction
With prostitutes, there are no games or emotional manipulation. If you want something specific, you have to ask for it. Whether your idea of a good time is gently spooning while she strokes your hair, or getting spanked while she calls you a dirty little man-bitch, you have to tell her up front.