Does More Housework Mean Less Sex?
If you’re one of those husbands who thinks taking over some of your wife’s household chores will translate into having sex more often, maybe you should think again.
A new study suggests the opposite may be true.
Married men who spend more time doing what many consider traditionally feminine household tasks — such as grocery shopping, cleaning and cooking — reported having less frequent sex than do husbands who stick to more traditionally masculine jobs, like gardening or home repair.
When it comes to chores, equality between the sexes doesn’t necessarily turn on either the man or the woman, said study author Julie Brines, an associate professor in the department of sociology at the University of Washington, in Seattle.
So it’s not sexy to watch your husband folding socks or unpacking the groceries? “While wives tend to be more satisfied with the marriage [when there aren’t issues about housework], it doesn’t translate to sex if the men help,” Brines said. “For women in traditional arrangements, the wives’ sexual satisfaction is greater. The wives are benefitting too.”
In other words, even though women may say they like having their husband help around the house, his well-intentioned efforts may end up turning him into a helpmate rather than an object of desire.
The researchers’ interest in the topic was sparked by media coverage of a report from the Council on Contemporary Families in 2008, Brines explained. “The headline was that men who did more housework got more sex,” she said. “My colleagues and I saw that and didn’t see the evidence.”
But Brines admitted that such thinking is understandable. “From Grecian times, the women who were unhappy with their men decided to withhold sex,” she said, referring to the Greek play Lysistrata. She said it would make perfect sense if there was a sort of exchange of favors in marriage, and that if wives were happier, sex lives would benefit.