Expert Advice on What to Do About a Low Sex Drive
(You or your partner’s.)
One common complaint some couples face is a disparity in desire: One person wants to get it on while the other can’t conjure any interest. For many, a lackluster libido could be biological, as our sex drives decline naturally as we age. Studies show that testosterone production in men decreases by about 2 percent a year. While in women, menopause severely limits estrogen production, which lowers a woman’s interest in sex. In both cases, hormone therapy can help stabilize levels.
Lifestyle choices and our environment also affect our libido. Everything from what we ingest (alcohol, drugs, and food) to where we live and how much stress we have in our lives can impact our levels of lust. It doesn’t help that our entire modern lifestyle can aid in making our sex drive plummet lower than the ratings for a Jeremy Piven–led procedural on CBS. For others, there may be no discernible reason for the indifference toward sex. Just as we have happy and sad days, you can expect your sexual appetite to have both surges and retreats, too.
According to a new study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, Americans are having less sex overall: “Those born in the 1930s (the Silent generation) had sex the most often, whereas those born in the 1990s (Millennials and iGen) had sex the least often.” Married couples took the biggest hit, having sex an average of 56 times a year in 2014, down from 67 in 1989.
However, just because it’s normal to feel “meh” about getting it on doesn’t mean you won’t feel concerned if it’s your first time experiencing a change in your (or your partner’s) sex drive. We approached sex coaches, relationship therapists and psychologists and asked for their best advice about how to handle experiencing a dip in desire. Here’s what they said.