Five Reasons You’re Having Less Sex
Wondering why you’ve been hitting the sheets less often with your honey? Find out the reason — so you can have more sex tonight.
Your relationship started out hot. You had sex anytime you could sneak it in. But after a while, the frequency of those middle-of-the-night romps, not to mention lusty daydreams and racy text messages, began to dwindle.
What happened? While it’s normal for the excitement of a new relationship to dwindle, if you’re having sex less than once a month, there could be other factors at play. And the reasons you’re not getting it on as much as you used to might surprise you. From stress to an overdose of technology, here are seven common sex drive killers, and tips on how to overcome them.
Eventually, of course, I did wake up.
We’ve all heard that old chestnut: If you put a bean into a jar every time you have sex your first year of marriage, then take a bean out every time thereafter, the jar will never be empty.
Scientific validation for this is sketchy, but people who study long-married folks—and long-married folks themselves—agree: Chances are, you’ll be getting less as the years wear on.
The parenting effect
“A lot of parents feel like they’ve already done about 50 things they didn’t want to do that day, like getting up at dawn, dealing with their child’s tantrums. Adding sex to the menu just seems like too much,” said Samantha Lutz, a psychologist. “So we turn to things like Netflix to unwind, which leads to immediate gratification with zero energy expended.”
Parents also seem to be much more involved with their children’s lives than in the past. “Parents are constantly driving their children to school and extracurricular activities,” said Amanda Pasciucco, a licensed marriage and family therapist. In previous years, children had more freedom and fewer organized activities, which meant more free time for their parents.
But has the marriage advantage become a disadvantage?
“We don’t know if indeed the ‘marriage advantage’ is now a ‘disadvantage,’ ” said Debby Herbenick, president of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists, “in part because so many other things have changed about sex and health in America in recent decades, including far more Americans taking medications with sexual side effects, far more Americans dealing with chronic health conditions — like diabetes — known to affect sex, and millions more Americans surviving cancer — which is wonderful — but often with sexual side effects from cancer treatments.
Physical exhaustion can do a number on your sex drive. You might be so exhausted physically and mentally that the mere idea of intercourse seems laborious. His solution? Give morning sex a whirl. Men typically wake with an erection, so half the work is done.
Boozing Too Much:
Alcohol is one of the main things to disturb your sex life: Surprisingly, while one or two drinks may put you both in the mood, drinking too much can inhibit a woman’s ability to reach orgasm. But for men, too much drinking can cause erectile dysfunction.
Obsessed with your weight
Research shows that weight issues can trigger a lack of sexual desire and difficulties with sexual performance. Worrying about how your body flaws can have a negative effect on your sex life and even arousal. If you don’t feel sexy and you’re not comfortable, you’re not going to want to take your clothes off. A good dose of body positivity may be all you need.
You experience vaginal pain
When sex doesn’t feel good, you by all means avoid it because you scared of feeling pain. Pain and discomfort during sex may be caused by just that you’re not getting enough foreplay before intercourse or it could be something deeper. Sex should always be pleasurable and if it not that is obviously going to cause a decrease in libido. Seek help with a sexologist, or your GP.