Here’s How To Respond To A Rejection Text From A Date You Actually Liked
If there’s one thing that’s happened to everyone, it’s bed bugs. Just kidding, it’s rejection (but if bed bugs have happened to you, you’re not alone). Everyone gets rejected in one capacity or another (I had an Uber driven cancel on me today for what really felt like no reason at all). It can be really tough to get a rejection text after a date, particularly a date you enjoyed, but there are ways to respond that will help you feel slightly better. To get tips on how to respond to a rejection text after a date you liked, I spoke with the experts.
If you feel like it would give you closure, experts suggest responding nicely to the rejection, but not over-texting. “If you’re someone who needs closure, then you’ll want to respond,” relationship and etiquette expert April Masini tells Elite Daily. “But not by text. Wait a day or two and then call them, meet them, or try to get the closure you need.” Try expressing to them how you feel, and, if you are interested in letting them know you’re disappointed, consider communicating that to them. This could also be a good opportunity to let them know if you’re interested in staying friends.
Remember that if you get a rejection text, it isn’t necessarily your fault. In fact, it’s a likely outcome of most first dates. “If it’s a first date or one of a half a dozen dates, then it’s still very early in the relationship and the chance of rejection is good,” Masini says. “Not everyone is going to be your cup of tea, and you’re not going to be the one for everyone. After a few dates, most people can tell, and they move on. So, if you get a rejection after one or a few dates, try not to give it a lot of weight.” Keep in mind that this isn’t necessarily about you — with the rise of dating apps, it’s possible that your crush is going on a lot of dates, which means some will inevitably end in rejection. But there are plenty of fish in the sea, so don’t be afraid to dive back into dating when you feel you’re ready.
Depending on the circumstances of the rejection, Masini explains that it might be OK to try to keep the line of communication open. “If you’ve been rejected, try to understand the reason why,” Masini says. “If your partner decided you were not a match, then move on. But if the rejection is because of outside circumstances, you still have a shot. For instance, if your partner is moving to another state for a job, it’s not you — it’s geography.” While it’s very important to remain respectful of your date’s boundaries, if you genuinely feel like the rejection was a product of circumstances, rather than their feelings towards you, then it may be OK to say something along the lines of “I’d love to stay in touch.” Only you (and the other person) know how the date went, so you have to feel out for yourself whether or not the lines of communication should remain open.
Additionally, if you want to stay in touch after a rejection text, consider letting the person know that you’re still listening. “You can let them know you understand and would love to stay in touch,” Masini says. “Or maybe you’re being rejected because it was one of those dates that was just doomed from the start — you had a cold and were sneezing like crazy the whole time. He kept getting emergency calls from work during the date. And the waiter spilled marinara sauce all over your white clothing at dinner. That’s one of those dates that deserves a do-over — but maybe in a month or two, when life has calmed down.” If they aren’t interested in staying in touch, then respect their decision. If the roles were reversed, you’d deserve the same.
Getting rejected after a fun date can be really tough. Just remember — it isn’t your fault if the two of you don’t click; you probably just weren’t the right match. Be kind to yourself, and know that the right person is out there for you.