What Sex With Someone New Is Really Like
No matter how sexually experienced you are, your first time having sex with someone new can still be a nerve-wracking experience. Sex is a super intimate act that requires a lot of trust, and the first time you’re that vulnerable with someone can be scary, especially if it’s someone you’re dating or super romantically interested in.
But as much as you might hope that you’ll immediately sexually click with someone just because you like each other, the reality is that that’s not exactly guaranteed — or even likely. According to a recent survey of 2,000 people from adult toy retailer Pure Romance, six in ten people said they’ve had a relationship start off with bad sex. The good news? If you really care about your partner and both of put in a little effort to get sexually comfortable with each other, it can totally get better with time.
“The only way for sex to continue to get better is for your communication to continue to get better,” Patty Brisben, founder of Pure Romance, tells Bustle. “You don’t have to be a traffic cop, the ‘stop’ and ‘go’ does not make for a sexy and enjoyable dialogue in the heat of the moment. Bring up how much you enjoyed something your partner did afterward and continue the conversation from there.”
If you need more proof that having bad sex initially doesn’t have to spell doom for a budding relationship, here are nine accounts from Reddit users about their first time having sex with their now-significant other’s (spoiler alert: it’s not all rainbows and multiple orgasms).
1. It Might Feel Clumsy At First
When you’re exploring someone’s body for the first time, naturally you’re not going to know exactly what buttons to push yet. Luckily, having lots of sex to “practice” and get more acquainted with each other’s bodies is fun AF (pun intended).
2. You Could Have, Uhh, Technical Difficulties
If you run into this issue, proceed with caution, stock up on lube, and gradually work up to the point where you can comfortably receive penetration (if you want to, of course).