You Can Fix A Relationship Even When You’re Sexually Incompatible
Amazing sex doesn’t always happen right away.
You and your honey have been deep in the ‘honeymoon’ phase of your relationship, giving rabbits a run for their money for some time (wink!). But then, predictably, hot every day sex started to dwindle into every other day sex (or less). And then, sex only when you can make time for it.
What happens to a relationship when your desire for each other dwindles? Is it normal to feel taken off guard by your lover’s not-so-subtle hints about doing something a bit kinkier in the bedroom? What if your partner stops meeting your sexual needs entirely? Doesn’t he know orgasms go both ways?
We asked our Experts: How much does knowing your sexual compatibility matter at the start of a relationship?
It turns out, people fail to even think about their sexual compatibility until there’s already a problem. One of you feels angry or resentful that sex has become an afterthought. Or, because connection isn’t happening outside the bedroom, things fizzle in the bedroom.
Is there a “right time” to have that intimate, and often awkward, conversation about your common (or NOT) sexual desires? Should it happen before you date too long, before you get married, or only IF a problem eventually comes up?
In the video above, our host and YourTango SVP of Experts, Melanie Gorman assembled a panel of Experts to weigh in on this intriguing topic. Joining her are: best-selling author Dr. John Gray (Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus), Sex Coach Lauren Brim, Relationship Coach Ravid Yosef, and Psychic Medium/Intuitive Coach Bee Herz.
The general consensus from our Experts is, of course, yes: Sexual compatibility is crucial to a successful long-term relationship. Few people really thrive in a loving relationship when their sexual needs, tastes and desires don’t align.
BUT, even though we’re inundated with sexual images in our culture, we are still a very sexually puritanical society. Often couples will discuss everything BUT sex when determining the potential longevity of their relationship. And that, our Experts say, IS a problem.