You’re Putting Too Much Effort into Giving Oral Sex, According to Men
All of this mishmash of information prompted us to contact sexologists for some answers.
Blow jobs get a bad rap, mainly because they’re called a “job” and that doesn’t sound like a good time, especially when they’re supposed to be about pleasure. Also, blow jobs tend not to have the greatest depictions in the media, especially in porn. There’s a lot of forced gagging, among other demeaning things, and they seem to last forever. No wonder, then, that a lot of us might not have the healthiest or most accurate perspective on what makes for the best blow job—both for the receiver and the giver.
The confusion seems to be at its peak among heterosexual couples. “Everyone wants to please their partner in bed, but it seems there may be some miscommunication between what men want and what women are giving (and vice versa),” CalExotics’ resident sexologist, Dr. Jill McDevitt, tells HelloGiggles.
Indeed, a recent online survey of 1,100 Americans and Europeans by the online medical provider Superdrug found Dr. McDevitt’s assertion to be true. According to the report, on average, women think blow jobs should last longer than men. American women suggested 11 minutes was the average length of a BJ, while men suggested it should last just over nine minutes.
“These estimates and preferences seem high to me,” says Dr. Jessica O’Reilly, aka Dr. Jess, host of the Drive Him Wild With Pleasure video course. “It’s possible we overestimate how long an experience lasts when we’re enjoying ourselves, and it’s also possible that we want it to last longer because we’re enjoying it.” The pressure to prolong sex or “last longer” may also contribute to overestimations of duration.